fipsy

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Life sucks...

...well not really, but I want to feel a bit melodramatic, right now.

At the moment I am emotionally instable - and I HATE it.
I'd like to think of myself as being reasonable and calm - but let's face it: I am not.
Well, not always anyway.

OK, I am making stupid lists about everything, but hey they help me. I like lists, no, I love lists - I ADORE lists....

The point is, that everything changes soo fast right now. And I don't know where i am headding.
In a year I am going to be in a different town, in my own flat, on my very own.
Jesus, that scares me.

I am going to study. That scares me to. Cause I don't know if I am capable of studying yet.
I am not able to prepare myself properly for my finals in march - how am i going to study?

Today, I got back a really, really bad grade in math - and I CRIED in school. I hardly ever cry - and never in public! So that shocked me - and I felt so silly afterwards...

The depressing part is, that I prepared myself for the test. And I thought I did a good preparation. But apparently I didn't.
I also got a system for studying - yeah I know, me and my damn rules - and now I doubt it. Maybe I just don't know how to study? Maybe I can't? Maybe it's the wrong system? yadda, yadda, yadda....

Moving on now.
My f****** best friend never calls. Not once in the last two month! I HATE that. I have no one to talk to. No one listens to me anymore, so that I have to deal with all that shit on my own.
Allright, I act as if I woudn't care wether she calls or not - but it HURTS, it really hurts me.

And my family isn't helping either. i fight with my dad constantly, my mum thinks I am selfish, self-centered and egoistical. I don't know my brother, cause he never talks and my cousins don't call me either.

My friends here? Well, I like them, but talking to them about my troubles? Na, they don't really care or listen. At least thats the feeling I get about their behaviour towards me.

But that is enough for ONE day. I hate feeling down.

Oh, and by the way: It's winter - where the hell is the snow??

fips
13.12.06 17:10


YEAH!

OMG, I can't believe that I got an internship in a big publishing house for medical journals.
Now I have to wirte an email to clear all the details, but YAY I am happy again!!

Fips
18.12.06 15:58


Christmas presents

I HATE buying gifts for christmas.
It's not that I wouldn't know what to buy - it's just that there are heaps of people everywhere! Everyone is in a rush. I hate that.
I know, I could buy presents before the run starts, but no I have to wait until its five days before christmas. Duh, I dumb.
*g*
I guess the real point is that I don't think about christmas and buying gifts until it actually is christmas.

Anyhow, I bought tea for my dad, a pepper mill for my brother. Now I have to find a present for my mom and then I am done. Yay!!

Hm...I can't get into the christmas spirit until it snows.

Fips
19.12.06 19:15


S

My "S" is not working properly.
It is doing what it wants. And when it wants.
Stupid keyboard. Stupid "s".
19.12.06 19:18


Schlussformulierung eines Briefes

Ich vereige mich so tief ich kann, in vollster Trunkenheit und in tiefster Bewunderung an ihrer Anteilnahme an meinem Schicksal, in tiefster und ewiger Ergebenheit,

Fips

Abgekürzt:

Ivmstikivtitbaiaamsituee;

Fips

(Nala & Fips)
19.12.06 20:25


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