Gratis bloggen bei
I HATE buying gifts for christmas.
It's not that I wouldn't know what to buy - it's just that there are heaps of people everywhere! Everyone is in a rush. I hate that.
I know, I could buy presents before the run starts, but no I have to wait until its five days before christmas. Duh, I dumb.
I guess the real point is that I don't think about christmas and buying gifts until it actually is christmas.
Anyhow, I bought tea for my dad, a pepper mill for my brother. Now I have to find a present for my mom and then I am done. Yay!!
Hm...I can't get into the christmas spirit until it snows.
...well not really, but I want to feel a bit melodramatic, right now.
At the moment I am emotionally instable - and I HATE it.
I'd like to think of myself as being reasonable and calm - but let's face it: I am not.
Well, not always anyway.
OK, I am making stupid lists about everything, but hey they help me. I like lists, no, I love lists - I ADORE lists....
The point is, that everything changes soo fast right now. And I don't know where i am headding.
In a year I am going to be in a different town, in my own flat, on my very own.
Jesus, that scares me.
I am going to study. That scares me to. Cause I don't know if I am capable of studying yet.
I am not able to prepare myself properly for my finals in march - how am i going to study?
Today, I got back a really, really bad grade in math - and I CRIED in school. I hardly ever cry - and never in public! So that shocked me - and I felt so silly afterwards...
The depressing part is, that I prepared myself for the test. And I thought I did a good preparation. But apparently I didn't.
I also got a system for studying - yeah I know, me and my damn rules - and now I doubt it. Maybe I just don't know how to study? Maybe I can't? Maybe it's the wrong system? yadda, yadda, yadda....
Moving on now.
My f****** best friend never calls. Not once in the last two month! I HATE that. I have no one to talk to. No one listens to me anymore, so that I have to deal with all that shit on my own.
Allright, I act as if I woudn't care wether she calls or not - but it HURTS, it really hurts me.
And my family isn't helping either. i fight with my dad constantly, my mum thinks I am selfish, self-centered and egoistical. I don't know my brother, cause he never talks and my cousins don't call me either.
My friends here? Well, I like them, but talking to them about my troubles? Na, they don't really care or listen. At least thats the feeling I get about their behaviour towards me.
But that is enough for ONE day. I hate feeling down.
Oh, and by the way: It's winter - where the hell is the snow??
MP3-Player und anderes Gedöns
Nachdem mein MP3-Player unverschämter weise den Geist aufgegeben hat und mich mit meinem altersschwachen CD-Player alleingelassen hat, gingen auch noch mein Kopfhörer kaputt.
Ist das denn zu fassen??
Irgendjemand will nicht das ich Musik höre.
Das heißt ich habe mir heute neue Kopfhörer gekauft und einen neuen MP3-Player bestellt. Damit ich von nun an auch im Auto mp3s hören kann, habe ich außerdem eine Adapterkassette gekauft. Coole Sache!
Three days ago I came back from my "skiing-trip". Honestly, I didn't go snowboarding or even skiing at all. Instead of that I stayed in my room to read. It is very easy to imagine that this week was very relaxing and as a result I felt totally recovered and fit for the next term. Honestly I do!!
I'm very happy that I don't have to write any assessments in the next couple of weeks, which means that I can enjoy my time at school and at home!! Happy me, aye?
The problem with this is, that I would get to bored and that I wouldn't know what to do with myself, therefore I bought six new books. In english, of course.
I got the first one today, so that I can start reading immediatly!!
That's why I can't continue writing.
I wish you all a happy new year!!!
PS: I have the feeling that my english is very crappy today....sry
From now on: english
Today in class I decided to blog in english from now on.
Recently I started to watch the Gilmore Girls and I realized that I was impressed with the closeness of the relationship between mother and daughter.
I wish I would have such a great and intimate relationship towards my mom, but I don't have one.
Actually it's kind of the other way around and I am definitely not happy about it. I have the impression that my mom - let's say my parents in general - don't understand what is important to me and which values I cherish.
Honestly this drives my nuts, I can't talk about the things I like, because they look at the topic from a totally different point of view, which is indeed irritating. Things you reckoned as wicked are getting bad.
So I decided to be a young and cool mom! I don't want to judge my future kids and I want a deep and loving relationship with them. Hope my plans will work out - someday...
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